Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
