My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Randomize
