WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
