the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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