Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
