I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
