return my video game
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
