My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
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