just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
My penis needs a shock collar
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
