Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
