If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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