I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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