Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
