so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
