Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i drank out of a bidet.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
