Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize