dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
