i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
