True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
