whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
