"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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