ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
