is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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