Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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