HIV tests are more positive than that guy
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
she smelled like a LAN party
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Randomize
