We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize