He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Randomize
