operation harelip BJ is a go
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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