I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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