the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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