I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
