Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Come back. Shots need mouths.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
