Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
