Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
