you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
