where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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