? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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