There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
