Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize