bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
