first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
