i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
