You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
