Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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