The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
