I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
