Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
