Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
