Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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