Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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