wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
