Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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