I just made out with a guy for $7.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
