you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
two words...techno handjob
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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