We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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