I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
