like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
