We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
