ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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