I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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