only if we run a train.
done.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
