some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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