I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize