how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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