When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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