I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize