ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
