I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
