alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize