My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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