The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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