the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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